A few days ago, on one of Little Man’s first days of preschool, I was at work, watching the world go by outside. As I was watching a lady walked past, with a baby in a pushchair and a toddler following behind, doing that toddle waddle that they do for a few months after learning to walk.
I watched them walk along the road, with a mixture of emotions. The first was at how gorgeous the toddler was, that cute little toddle and messy hair and the next was a pang of sadness that I will never again push a baby in a pushchair, in the middle of the morning, whilst it’s sibling toddles behind.
I realised then that those days are gone. I am no longer that slightly harassed looking woman, trying to get the baby to sleep, running errands and getting odd jobs done with a toddler plodding along behind me.
It made me sad as I realised that those years of days just like had disappeared before my eyes and I felt like, at the time, I was harassed and busy, so much so that I didn’t really take them in enough. But those days definitely happened.
I have so many photos of the children in their pushchairs, of toddlers toddling and of me, looking slightly less harassed that span those years. They just went by so fast.
But, now, instead of pushing a baby in a pushchair I have little hands to hold that fit perfectly into mine. And instead of a toddler following me along I have children who want to scoot, stopping at lamp posts to wait patiently for me to catch up.
Instead of being harassed I can wave them off at school and then take my time, getting things done and watching the clock, waiting for their school days to end so I can hold those little hands again.
Before long they’ll both be in school all day, they’ll hold my hand less, they’ll talk about bigger things and they’ll be happy just walking by my side. They’ll carry their own bags, go to after school clubs and make plans with their friends.
Once, I pushed a baby in a pushchair, and now I watch them scoot off in front and tomorrow may bring something different, another change and something else saved to the memory bank. So I am enjoying today, and what it brings without being saddened by the past. Because today is only here for a short time and each day brings something new, something different and something else we will love just as much as that toddler waddling down the road after us.