And just like that, Christmas is here! Our tree is And just like that, Christmas is here! Our tree is up, the Santa hats are out and the first doors on our advent calendars are open.

I love this time of year. It is my favourite. And it’s one of the few times still full of magic even as an adult. I’m going to be soaking up every minute of joy the next few weeks bring and I hope December is full of moments of joy for you too.

Happy December! 🎄
AD | Christmas has arrived at @thelexiconbracknell AD | Christmas has arrived at @thelexiconbracknell and there’s so much to entertain the whole family whilst you do your Christmas shopping! 

Visit The Lexicon Glow Room for a magical light experience that will dazzle you with 20,000 LEDs. It feels like the room goes on forever! Then, take a dip in the Light Pool, a magical ball pool with golden balls to be found and prizes to be won!

If that wasn’t all, have a photo in the giant Christmas bauble ‘sparkling selfie station’ and follow the Twinkle Trail, spotting baubles in shop windows to collect the clues and enter to win fabulous prizes this Christmas. Plus, share your sparkling selfie station pictures, tagging #thelexiconbracknell or email them to marketing@thelexiconbracknell.com and you will automatically be entered in a competition for the chance to win a restaurant gift card too. 

There are also special performances from local choirs, bands and singers and even the chance to meet Bluey, Hey Duggee and Chase from Paw Patrol! You can be sure that a trip to The Lexicon will have something for everyone over the festive season this year. We loved our visit to The Lexicon last weekend and know we’ll be back again before Christmas!

Find out more on @thelexiconbracknell website.

#TheLexiconBracknell #Merry&Bright
AD - Press Trip | What a lovely evening that was! AD - Press Trip | What a lovely evening that was! We had our first Glow Marwell experience tonight - and we loved it. It may even be the best light trail we have been to.

We spent well over two hours at @marwellzoo, enjoying the light installations, indulging in the food stalls and cafe, toasting marshmallows and even meeting Father Christmas! 

Glow Marwell was such a nice way to kick off the festive season - and it’s on all the way through December! If you’re looking for a really nice festive activity the whole family can enjoy, this could definitely be it!
AD | Are you looking for gifts for the grandparent AD | Are you looking for gifts for the grandparents this year? @famileo_uk is a wonderful gift, giving the recipient a personalised gazette of family news regularly throughout the year - and it costs from just £5.99 a month. 

Multiple family members can use the same subscription, all posting messages to be added to one gazette - and sharing the cost of the subscription too! It’s great for parents, siblings and children to all share their news with grandparents each week, fortnight or month. 

We’ve been sending my dad Family gazettes for a while now and he absolutely loves them. It means we tell him all the little things that are happening and not just the big news you remember to mention in phone calls. The children get to upload their own messages to their grandad and it’s definitely made them feel closer, building a stronger relationship despite living far apart.

Find out more about Family over on the blog - link in bio - and buy a subscription for your nearest and dearest this Christmas. It’s a gift they will definitely love to receive.
Two weeks of Fred & George! I won’t be doing the Two weeks of Fred & George! I won’t be doing these updates every week but I like having somewhere to put all these photos!

They’re now three months old, super loving and happy, making biscuits and purring constantly.

They stay in ‘their’ room overnight but explore the house during the day, getting more confident as time passes. They even got to the point of relaxing on the sofa with us last night.

Fred & George are now very much part of our family and I can’t imagine them not being there now - even at 7am when they’re miaowing at the door for breakfast!
AD | Stuck for screen-free entertainment that your AD | Stuck for screen-free entertainment that your kids will love? Claim your FREE Banjo Robinson activity pack today!
 
Reading for pleasure is a key indicator of a child’s future success, but if your child doesn’t love to read, what can you do? We know it’s not always easy keeping kids entertained and away from screens, so we’ve partnered with the award-winning @banjorobinson to gift you a FREE activity pack, worth £9.99.

Here’s a little look at the Banjo Robinson subscription - Troy loves it! Travelling to world with Banjo is so much fun! You can read our full review over on the blog and claim your free activity pack too - link in profile.
A whole week of Fred & George. We weren’t meant A whole week of Fred & George.

We weren’t meant to get more cats just yet but sometimes the universe sends you things when you don’t expect them.

These little guys needed a home and a family to love them. And we had a home and a lot of love to give. We still miss Leia but this pair are definitely helping make me feel whole again.

They are both used to us now, and love us. They’re less nervous, give us cuddles and let us pick them up. They’re still living in our spare room but starting to explore the rest of the house under supervision. 

They play fight constant. Love toys, especially a crinkly feather thing on a string attached to a stick, and love being up high. They are an awesome pair and we are so glad to have them.

Thank you @millbrook_rspca @rspca_official for trusting us with ‘Lonestar and Starfish’. We could not love them more. 

#catsofinstagram #catstagram #catsofig #catsofinsta #catlovers #adoptdontshop #rspcarescuecat #kittensofinstagram #kittens_of_instagram
[AD - Press Trip] I’ve just finished writing abo [AD - Press Trip] I’ve just finished writing about our half term break at @pottersresort and it’s over on the blog if you want to go have a read.

I wanted to put some of my favourite photos on the grid too as the kids did so many fun activities - they had THE best time. 

Giant swing, segways, climbing, archery, laser clays… there was so much to do that we couldn’t fit it all in - we need another trip!
And there ends our October half term - well, apart And there ends our October half term - well, apart from Troy who has a bonus week off!

This half term has been pretty lovely. Troy had his school residential the first weekend and then we had a really lovely few days in Norfolk before heading home and picking up two new members of our family - Fred and George. 11 week old rescue kittens who have pretty much stolen our hearts.

It’s been so nice to have a chunk of quality time with this pair and now I’m looking forward to the Christmas holidays. These two are the best company and I really do live for the school holidays. 

How has your half term been?
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Family, Favourite Posts · May 23, 2017

The Social Stigma of having Family in Prison

Growing up I had to tell everyone that I only had one brother. My parents told me to not mention my oldest brother at all, to act like he didn’t exist and to only talk about him at home.

But, I had another brother. He was ten years older than me but he wasn’t around much when I was growing up. My first real memory of him was when he was about 19 and he’d come home for the weekend. He’d been in care since he was young and there were times when we’d go to visit him, getting the train or driving and I remember spending a lot of time travelling but I have no real memories of those visits. I just remember him turning up on the doorstep one day and me wondering who he was. I didn’t know him but when it clicked that he was my brother I loved him and got to know him whilst he was with us.

He came and went a lot when I was growing up. He’d be around for a weekend, for a week or two and then he’d disappear for a few months. There was one point where he was around for months, he got a job and got a flat, with my parents helping as much as they could. I thought he’d be around forever then but it just didn’t last.

You see, my brother had real issues when he was growing up and he went off the rails so much. His issues led him to experiment with drugs from a young age which in turn led him to a life of crime. Those years in care merged seamlessly into years in young offenders institutes and then spells in prison. I can’t remember how many times he was in prison and have blanked from memory the horrendous things he did to get put there. His life was a spiral of drugs and prison, the drugs getting harder and the prison sentences getting longer as the years went by.

The Social Stigma of having Family in Prison

But, this all made my parents want to protect me, to stop people judging me because of him and the mistakes he had made. So growing up, as far as anyone knew, I had one brother. And at home I would write to the other one each week, telling him about school, about friends and anything else in my life. I’m not sure how interesting those letters were from a 13 year old me but he replied every week too, writing pages about books he had read, courses he had done and anything else that was on his mind. He seemed to like prison, he loved having a roof over his head, no bills to pay, no responsibilities and at one point he even had a games console and TV in his cell. It was a more comfortable life than any convict deserved and one that made him so institutionalised and happy to be inside.

He was in prison the last time for about seven years. Serving half of a fifteen year sentence. I remember going to visit him a couple of times with my parents and not being able to tell friends about it, pretending I was off school sick instead of driving hundreds of miles to see my brother in a prison visiting room. Twice we saw him on open visits, sitting around tables and getting drinks from a vending machine but once we saw him on a closed visit – I’m still not sure what he’d done to have the privilege of an open visit taken away from him but he was behind glass and it was just so sad to see my brother like that.

Every trip was so emotional and so degrading. We had to go through a process similar to airport security and I remember my Mum being pretty humiliated by the suggestion that she might try to smuggle things in with her. I remember her taking a present in for him one year as it was his birthday and she’d even wrapped it up – naively thinking that they would just give it to him rather than opening it and dissecting every inch of it first.

My eldest brother isn’t someone I talk about. He isn’t part of my life anymore, and hasn’t been for over a decade. But my brother was a part of my life growing up, as much as he could be. Even when he wasn’t there he was a constant factor – I would write to him and talk to him on the phone when I could. When he was home he would look after me, pick me up from school and draw the most amazing Disney pictures I have ever seen. He was always pretty creative.

But, he was someone I couldn’t talk about. Someone that no-one knew about. He was a secret that I had to keep in a separate part of my mind, keeping him locked away in case people would think less of our family. My parents didn’t want me to lose any more friends at school than I had already lost through being bullied so much and they were trying their best to protect me.

But as a child it is so hard to keep things separate. It’s so hard to not talk about things. Visiting prisons as a child was such a confusing and often scary and harrowing experience and something that I wasn’t allowed to talk about or even mention outside of our home. Visiting a prison is not something I would ever want my children to have to go through but, he was my brother. A brother I couldn’t talk about, a brother that to the outside world didn’t exist for years – all because of social stigma and a fear of being judged.

Even now not many people in my life know I have that older brother, they don’t know about this part of our family history and when added to everything else I have spoken about in the past – my issues with my mother and getting kicked out of home at 17 amongst other things – people don’t think I can have many other skeletons in the closet. But, I can understand, in hindsight, why I had to keep my brother behind closed doors, why I couldn’t talk about him and why it was for the best.

People do judge, people do jump to conclusions and it is so easy to get tarred with the same brush. But, having a brother, born ten years before me, that spent his formative years in and out of the judicial system didn’t mean that I would be the same. Siblings, and other family members, don’t automatically follow in each other’s footsteps and although we were once close he and I couldn’t be further apart so many years down the line. But, it doesn’t stop me thinking back to that time, when I had a brother who I loved and cared about unreservedly, unconditionally, and wish I could have spoken about him, made him more a part of my life and just been open with my friends.

As a teenager I had a brother, he was in prison and I went months without even saying his name – all to make sure that the foundations of my life weren’t blemished by his mistakes.

In: Family, Favourite Posts

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Comments

  1. Hollie says

    May 23, 2017 at 7:18 am

    What a raw and honest post. Every family has its secrets but I can’t imagine what it was like to deny the existence of such a close family member x

    Reply
  2. Maria Hughes says

    May 23, 2017 at 7:25 am

    Addiction is such a horrible thing; it really does ruin lives. Such a shame you didn’t get to know your brother properly, but you should have never been made to hide him – he had a problem it shouldn’t have been stigmatised x

    Reply
  3. Carolin says

    May 23, 2017 at 7:44 am

    What a powerful post, Donna. I feel so sad that you couldn’t speak about your brother . That’s an incredibly difficult situation to put you in and an awful thing to expect from a child. As you say, he was your brother and as that you still loved him, no matter what. As a child you don’t really differentiate between your love and the things he’s done. You just love, unconditionally x

    Reply
  4. Kate Tunstall says

    May 23, 2017 at 8:34 am

    Gosh Donna! How was for you all. I’ve found having my own family has healed a lot of hurts for me; I hope the same is true for you. X

    Reply
    • Kate Tunstall says

      May 23, 2017 at 8:35 am

      * How sad for you all.

      Reply
  5. Emma t says

    May 23, 2017 at 8:58 am

    Good on you for sharing. Hard for children to understand but I think a lot of parents would feel they had to do the same thing. We used to laugh because my uncle age 37 married a 17 year old girl from a family with a lot of brothers who’d been in trouble with the police, saying his choice was interesting. (She was very strange anyway and it was a weird relationship, the put their eldest child in care because he was too dangerous with the younger children, then they divorced and later remarried having more kids). We treated it as a joke but although we werent particularly close in relationship or distance to them, I’m not sure if we lived closer I’d have wanted N growing up hanging round with them much as a family. You can’t choose family, but if they’re code daily you still want to be close to them

    Reply
  6. Candace says

    May 23, 2017 at 9:34 am

    This must have been a very hard post for you to write. I hope having the courage to write this you will find some inner peace and acceptance about what happened

    Reply
  7. Laura's Lovely Blog says

    May 23, 2017 at 10:08 am

    What a moving and honest post Donna, it must have been so hard for you to comprehend as a child why the brother that you loved went away. I hope one day that maybe he can move on with his life and you maybe get to see him again x

    Reply
  8. Mel says

    May 23, 2017 at 10:32 am

    Oh that’s so sad, Donna. What I find the saddest is that your parents told you not to mention him. Your letters must have given him a lot of happiness in the solitude of prison. When we have children, we don’t know what kind of path they will take in life…. it’s scary, isn’t it? Xxx

    Reply
  9. Christina says

    May 23, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    This is so interesting, It sounds like you provide him lots of unconditional love. Thank you for sharing your story and it will provide lots of new insight for many (including me). Big hug.

    Reply
  10. Plutonium Sox says

    May 23, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Gosh Donna, what a terrible thing to grow up with, having to pretend your brother didn’t exist. And how sad that people would judge you for your family.
    Nat.x

    Reply
  11. Laura - Dear Bear and Beany says

    May 23, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    Oh Donna! What a brave post to share I can’t imagine what that must have been like as a child growing up. It doesn’t surprise me that you wrote letters to him, as you are a kind person x

    Reply
  12. Katie @mummydaddyme says

    May 24, 2017 at 10:40 am

    What a thing to grow up with Donna and what a raw and emotional post. x

    Reply
  13. Joanna Holland says

    May 9, 2018 at 11:13 pm

    Very brave of you to post something so private. I cant imagine how hard that must of been and be now. Xxx

    Reply
  14. Stefan (BerkeleySqB) says

    May 7, 2019 at 10:42 am

    Fascinating story. Very good of you to share it.

    Reply
  15. Elaine Livingstone says

    March 28, 2021 at 6:47 pm

    Have a son who served 10 years and he “liked” the security if a roof over his head with no bills to pay as well. Hard world we live in where fir some it is a better fit than being outside.
    Sorry your parents were so ashamed of him that you could not talk about him and enjoy the time you had with him.
    I would not fancy taking a child in either but did see some kids visiting when we were there.
    Everything went into G had to be bought and delivered direct by Amazon.

    Reply

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Hi everyone! I'm Donna. Mummy. Blogger. Social Media Manager. Traveller. Lover of stars, rainbows and gin. Firm believer that tea and cake can fix most things.

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