Manners

I was on the train recently and just before I got off I saw this sign and had to take a photo of it.

Train Sign

Priority Seat – Please vacate for disabled people.

When did we start to need signs to tell us to give our seat up for someone less able? When did we stop doing the right thing unless we had a sign to tell us?

I grew up being told to say please and thank you, to hold open doors for people and to give up my seat on the bus if an elderly, disabled or pregnant person got on. Even now, as an adult, I say please and thank you – Probably far too often, I hold open doors and let people come through before I go through the door or I hold the door open a moment longer so the person behind me can take it without it swinging back at them. Giving up a seat on a train or bus is second nature – I wouldn’t dream of staying sitting if a pregnant woman got on at rush hour, for example.

Why does everyone not do these things? Why do I have to struggle through doors with a double buggy and no offer of help? Why do I often have doors swinging shut in my face where the person in front hasn’t held it that moment longer and why, often, do I slow my car so that people can cross the road and they don’t even incline their head to acknowledge that I slowed for them – They take it for granted.

When did manners start dieing out? When did people stop the common courtesies that I grew up to appreciate and also to practice? When did people start needing signs to tell them to give up their seat on public transport?

I will teach my children to say please and thank you, to give up their seat on the train, to ask if they can get down from the dinner table and to offer to help with the washing up after a meal. My children will know to wash their hands before dinner and after they go to the toilet and they will have the same respect for their elders that I had growing up.

My children will be taught these things, they won’t need a sign in the bathroom to remind them to wash their hands, a sign on a seat to tell them to stand or a sign on a train door tell them to let others off before they board.

“Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

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12 Comments

  1. April 11, 2014 / 10:09 am

    Totally agree – i say thank you about a million times at the check out even when i am trying not to as the cashier is so rude and doesn’t say a word!

  2. April 11, 2014 / 10:18 am

    Everything you have written here is so true, I think most people don’t have manners these days and it’s sad. I’m very proud that my three year old will always say “Please, Sorry, Thank You” it doesn’t cost anything to be polite and curtious.

  3. April 11, 2014 / 7:24 pm

    Great post! I agree with everything you said. It’s sad that everyone is so busy that they take so little time to model good manners for their kids. I am a BIG believer that manners manner greatly in life and you WILL have a better life if you learn and apply the rules of good manners and social skills. In fact as a mom of three, I have made it my priority to instill these important life skills in my kids! We need to involve kids and teach them in a fun and engaging way these vital skills–especially when they see so much rudeness today in life and TV.

    Best, Suzanne Wind
    Mom with a Mission
    Author of The SMART Playbook – Game-changing life skills for a modern world (activity books for kids on manners!)

  4. April 11, 2014 / 9:06 pm

    Ignorance, that’s what it is. I’m very proud that our little bear says ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’. She’s not perfect but at such a young age, it’s a good start…

  5. April 11, 2014 / 9:50 pm

    I completely agree, it makes me so mad when people don’t have manners. I have faults, we all do, but the one thing I can definitely say is that I am super polite and have respect. A lot of people don’t nowadays. x

  6. April 11, 2014 / 10:34 pm

    Its so true! what is with some people these days! .. however dont get me started on the parent and baby bays and some of them that abuse that! x

  7. What’s even worse is that people ignore the signs. I got the metro in Manchester last summer & not once did anyone offer me a seat (I was quite clearly pregnant & tired). I laughed it off but was really quite surprised at the lack of common courtesy displayed. I would always give up my seat to someone who needed it more than me. How is that not normal these days?

  8. Lorraine Hakes
    April 12, 2014 / 7:24 am

    This really irritates me too. I’ve told people to get up before now and they’ve done as I’ve told. I do still see lots of people doing the right thing and so we’re not doomed just yet 🙂

  9. April 12, 2014 / 5:58 pm

    Bad manners truly are the worst, such a good post! X

  10. April 13, 2014 / 9:30 pm

    I noticed today on the motorway that there are now signs asking people to take their rubbish home because other people do. It’s awful that we need those signs, but we do – I’m aghast at how much litter people chuck out of their car windows! And you’re totally right about the manners too. I’d love that sign for my loo though!

  11. April 21, 2014 / 2:05 pm

    This is the second courtesy/manners type post I’ve seen recently and it is sad that common courtesy isn’t a given in society. I have to say though, in both London and Paris in the last week, I never once had to stand on a train/bus/metro. People saw my rather large bump and immediately offered me a seat, which I was so appreciative of xx

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