I realised the other day that my life changed massively when I was LP’s age. Ten seems to be quite a big age for any girl. On the cusp of puberty, starting to really build your own interests and with the transition to secondary school looming.
But for me there was so much more than that. I remember around that time getting my first crop tops, getting a second pillow on my bed and then, finding out my Dad was actually my Step Dad and not my biological father at all.
This has been such a strange time, hasn’t it? I started writing this when the children’s school had been closed eight weeks and we hadn’t left home in that time.
Dave had been working in a CV facing role and to minimise any possible spread we hadn’t wanted to be in contact with other people, however slight. The children have always been happy at home so it made sense to just carry on, staying at home and making the most of what we have.
A year ago today I lost a good friend of mine. I was away for a week learning to swim and had a message from a friend to say Kate had passed away. I was at my laptop in the hotel restaurant and the news knocked me sideways. I was so shocked. Of all the people I expected to pass away in the near future Kate was not one of them.
Up until LP was a year old I had long hair but since becoming a parent my hair was thinner and I used to lose so much of it each day in the shower that I just wanted to be rid of it. So, as soon as bridesmaid duties were done I had it cut off and had never looked back.
Do you ever think about the years gone by, the things that happened and how far you’ve come? Well, half my life ago I had just turned seventeen, it was two weeks before Christmas and I was homeless.
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As a family we are always talking about the future. It’s something that comes up in conversation quite often with LP and Little Man saying what they think will happen when they grow up, where they’ll go, who they’ll live with and the things they will see and do. It’s so nice hearing them talk about their future, with literally their whole lives stretching out ahead of them.
I’ve written a few times before about my love hate relationship with water. I love the idea of being in a pool but when it comes down to it, I usually last ten minutes before getting back out again. This is mainly because I never learnt to swim as a child, I cobbled together a very slight swimming ability over the years but I don’t enjoy being in the water and I have absolutely no confidence in the water either. I can’t cope if I know I can’t touch the bottom of the pool and the sea absolutely terrifies me.
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When I was younger, it was all about the grand gestures. As a child, there’s nothing quite like receiving a gift of the latest toy or a new bike. Even as a teenager and young adult, I was swept off my feet when boyfriends spent a fortune on me.
Often I’ll be talking to Dave, friends or new acquaintances and something will come up in conversation where I’ll say ‘yeah, we did that, you know, before kids’. It’ll be an experience, a holiday, city break or even a West End show and it will bring up memories of this time BK. Before Kids. When it was just Dave and I.
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I’ve never seen myself as part of a modern family before. Growing up I had a Mum, a Step-Dad and two half brothers. One of my brothers saw his Dad on weekends and I only met my biological Dad for the first time when I was seventeen.