I’ve been breastfeeding Little Man now for over 9 months and before that I breastfed LP for 13 months, having a 6 month-ish gap in between. For me, a year has always seemed like the right time to stop breastfeeding and that is where we’re aiming for at the moment.
Little Man has drastically cut his feeds down since he started weaning. For the last couple of months we’ve had a morning feed, lunchtime feed, bedtime feed and between 2-3 feeds during the night. Recently though Little Man hasn’t seemed that interested in the morning feed, he isn’t crying to be fed the minute he wakes up and instead he’ll happily roll around in his cot or play on the floor for an hour whilst I get ready, potter about and even sort his Sister out before he starts to get restless and want feeding. Even then he’s more than happy to have breakfast rather than milk so I think the morning feed may soon be on it’s way out.
Knowing that I have only three months left of breastfeeding is incredibly bittersweet to me. People have said ‘Oh it’ll be great to get your body back’. My body hasn’t gone anywhere for the last year, it’s been right here with me, with my baby. I’m not in a huge hurry to ‘Get my body back’ and have really enjoyed the majority of my time breastfeeding. It will be lovely to wear a wider variety of clothes and to go and buy a decent bra. Other than that I will miss the sleepy feeding cuddles and that closeness but, like with LP, I know I will still get cuddles just different ones.
It’s also a bit of a sad last few months as I know it will be the last time that I breastfeed. I am immensely proud of having persevered through the first weeks of breastfeeding and will have successfully breastfed two babies until just after their first Birthdays but as LM is our last baby I will never get to experience that again.
When you have your ‘last’ baby, and you know you won’t have any more, everything is so final. The last time you will ever have, do, see, feel things. Breastfeeding has been a huge part of my life for the last few years but a hugely positive one too. It will be very odd when it’s not a part of my life anymore.