Although Little Man will sleep on me every so often, when I least expect it, I rarely see LP when she’s asleep now. She’ll read her books before bed, turn her light off and go to sleep. We have never really checked on the children before bed as the baby monitors tell us that they’re fine and as they were never very good sleepers we were scared to wake them.
So it has been months, if not years, since I last saw LP sleeping. I remember her as a tiny baby, falling asleep whilst feeding and sleeping soundly in the crook of my arm. Or she’d fall asleep whilst I was patting her back against my shoulder and I’d rest my cheek against her head.
I remember those days as though they were yesterday. That tiny 6lb 4oz baby, that new baby smell and her little legs still bent and tucked up under her. She was so tiny for so long and even now she is a really dinky thing – but one who thankfully now sleeps through the night.
Recently LP has been forgetting to turn off her light after reading and will fall asleep with it on. I go into her room thinking that she must still be awake and then find her sleeping soundly despite the harsh light shining down on her face.
Instead of reaching over to turn the light off immediately, I instead stand for a moment and watch her sleeping, watch her chest rising and falling and listen to the sleepy sound of her breathing. She looks so small when she’s asleep, so young and so perfect.
I hold onto that moment and appreciate the baby that she was, the lady she will become and the beautiful little girl currently dreaming her dreams. I don’t get to see her sleeping often but when I do I savour it. Our Little Pickle, sleeping soundly next to her own baby doll who she has wrapped up warm for the night. Our LP, so big and yet suddenly so small.
Dream big little one.