Perspective

I thought I’d blog about my weekend.

Yesterday, Saturday, a good friend of mine, M, came round with her daughter Z. We’ve known each other a few years and got married within 6 months of each other and had our Daughters 3 months apart. We now live about 35 miles away from each other so can’t see each other as much as we would like but make sure we spend a whole day together at least once a month.

After the issues I’ve had with friends recently, seeing M and Z was just the tonic I needed! Z is so clever now, she’s 10 months and pulls herself up on furniture, cruises along holding onto things for supprt. It was great to watch! M commented on how great LP’s doing too, how well she can sit up now and how content she is!

We just spent the day at our house, having cups of tea, lunch, and playing with the babies. We also had a wander into the local town to get some fresh air and have a potter, It was lovely, the kind of day that I really enjoy now – quality time with a friend but including LP as well.

Before they left we arranged that M and Z would come have a sleepover at ours next month – two days together, PJ’s, a takeaway and wine! I haven’t had that much time with a friend in a long time, and it will be lovely. M’s Husband is away for work so it will give her company too. I am really looking forward to it!

Today, Sunday, I had a very relaxed morning with LP. We got up at 7:30am, we both got ready for the day, although LP wore a clean sleepsuit as we had plans later that required a pretty outfit! I then had a productive morning of housework whilst LP played with her toys and a balloon that M and Z had bought for her. Breakfast and lunch both came and went, and we spent until 2pm playing and giggling. Oh how I love to hear LP laugh! It really is the best sound in the world.

At 2pm I got LP changed into a new pretty dress as it was her Great Nan’s Birthday tea. We went to Great Nan’s house along with my Brother in Law, Sister in Law, their Baby Boy, Hubby’s parents, LP’s two Great Aunties and one of their Daughters.

It’s always great to spend time with family. I haven’t got much family of my own – I have my Dad, his partner and their children and I have my big Brother and his partner. But that’s it really. So I have inherited Hubby’s family. It’s always lovely to spend time with them as LP’s Great Aunties and their own families we only see a handful of times a year. There are more Aunties, Uncles and Cousins but as they’re spread around the country it’s always hard for them to make it to occasions like this.

I was nice to see everyone and lovely to catch up. LP has got bigger and has learnt so much since she’d seen them last – She’s started baby led weaning and can sit up now. The first time her Great Aunties have seen her as a proper little person that can do things! It was lovely for them to see how she’s growing.

Everyone left by about 5pm, but LP had fallen asleep so we stayed a while until she woke up. There was just Great Nan, Great Auntie J and Hubby and I left with LP. We were talking about how LP is 8 months now and it feels like only yesterday she was born. Great Nan then said how it was 20 years ago today that her Husband died.

I didn’t know what to say. He died 20 years ago when he was only 60, 2 days before his wife’s Birthday. They had been married in excess of 40 years when he died and had 5 children. Great Nan has now lived half of that time again by herself.

As I am fairly new to this family – I have been part of it for only 8 years. I didn’t realise that Great Nan had been alone so long – I know that she isn’t alone as she has a lot of family – 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 2 great grandchildren, but none of that is quite the same as having someone by your side, someone to say good night to and somone to be there when you wake in the morning.

I have been married to Hubby for 3 years this year and I cannot imagine living a week without him by my side. He means everything to me. I know no-one is perfect, but he is everything I could ever want in a Husband and everything that LP could ever want in a Father. He really is my best friend.

On our wedding day Hubby said in his speech –

Now its not often you get to marry your best friend, well today, that’s exactly what I’ve done, not only that, I truly believe Donna is my soul mate. Wikipedia defines ‘Soulmate’ as a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one’s soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. In Donna, I have found the ultimate friend and companion.They say don’t marry someone you can live with – marry the person who you can’t live without…… and I think you’ll agree that sums us up perfectly. We’ve lived together for almost three years and I know I’ve married the right person. I’m so glad I can at last call you my wife.

I see Hubby and I walking hand in hand when we’re old and grey, sitting on a park bench together – Hubby with a flat cap covering a bald patch and me with support tights wrinkling around my ankles. We’ll sit comfortably with eachother in silence – the contented silence only found after years of talking together. We’ll think fondly of our children, and our grandchildren – maybe even great grandchildren and we’ll look back at the years with such happy memories – the happy memories will definitely outweigh any bad times we may have along the way. We will look back at the years and know that it was all as good as it could have been and we had led full lives, because we had each other.

Families may have their issues, and people may fall out from time to time, but none of that really matters. When you’re 83, having a tea party in your lounge with your family, and your final thought of the day is that your Husband, your other half, your best friend and soul mate died on that day 20 years before, it puts everything into perspective. The lovely afternoon with your family, and what matters? That your Husband wasn’t there to share it with you.

Every day matters in life, every Birthday, every Christmas, and every other day in between. For me, the future’s bright, the future’s Orange 🙂 I’m looking forward to every single day of it!

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