I’m sure most people can relate to the nights where you’re standing next to your child’s cot. You have spent time getting your child to sleep and they are finally in the cot, asleep. This is a momentous occasion and something that makes you want to punch the air and shout ‘Woohoo!’ but you have a sleeping baby, so instead of cheering you leave the room, as silently as possible. But a floorboard creaks… You step off quickly and it creaks again… You put your foot down somewhere else and it creaks yet another time and before you know it your baby is standing in the cot, jumping up and down and chatting away like they were never asleep, let alone very, incredibly asleep just moments ago.
Dave and I have perfected many a maneuver to escape our children’s bedrooms without making a sound but each of these maneuvers has been known to fail… Many times.
The Tightrope Walker – Put one foot in front of the other, arms slightly away from your sides and walk ever so slowly in a straight line to the door. Try not to breathe or make any sudden movements.
The Commando – Laying on the floor and crawling in super stealth mode straight to the door, elbows dragging us along until we reach the destination. Do not look back, do not breathe, focus on the target.
The Gymnast – Balancing, cartwheeling and stretching to get to the door. Moving silently any way possible to miss the creaky floorboards. All that is missing is a lycra leotard.
The Ballet Dancer – Tiptoeing and Arabesques, full of poise and grace. Dainty, weightless steps that glide across the room to the door – Soft as a feather! No tutu required.
The Superhero – Moving at the speed of light from one side of the room to the other, moving through walls or even teleporting to outside of the room. Pants on outside of trousers are a necessity.
The reality is that more often than not, all of the above fails. Little Man wakes up constantly as we leave the room and we end up swearing in frustration at the bloomin’ floorboards whilst trying to settle him again.
What magic moves do you use to escape from your child’s bedroom?!