Bullying: Why I can’t just ‘get over it and move on’

Last weekend I decided to confront someone about the way they had been talking about me for months behind the closed doors of a Facebook group. I told them that the things they were saying were not just unfounded and with no real cause but were vile and much the same as I had heard all those years ago in the school playground. Their response?

‘People are bored of the whole bullying thing. It happened, it was shit. Get over it and move on.’

I hadn’t mentioned bullying but they obviously realised that their behaviour amounted to that and they really couldn’t understand why, even now, 16 years after leaving school and three years after writing about being bullied, I was still talking about it. Why being bullied was still a topic of conversation for me.

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An Open Letter to Chris Bryant

Dear Chris Bryant

Yesterday was National Kiss a Ginger Day, a day that I wrote about last year and a day, quite frankly, that shouldn’t exist. Contrary to what you may think, my dislike for the day is not about the word ginger being used – it’s not a term I find offensive and it tends to only be seen as derogatory by people who don’t themselves have ginger hair. My dislike of the day runs much deeper.

However, I thought that this year the day would go unmarked. That people wouldn’t, this year, send me kisses on social media and instead it could just be swept under the carpet, losing impact as each year goes by. But no. The day after the supposed National Kiss a Ginger Day I wake up to the news that you, Mr Bryant, MP of Rhondda, had taken it upon yourself to wish John Bercow a Happy Kiss a Ginger Day in the House of Commons.

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Female Empowerment or just Creating a Bigger Divide?

I’m not a feminist – in all honesty, I don’t even know what the word means. But, I am a woman and I believe that as women we deserve as much opportunity, as much respect, as much freedom and the same choices as men. I don’t think men and women will ever be equal – as there are some things each gender just aren’t built to do and aren’t made to cope with. But, I believe that men and women should be treated fairly regardless of their gender.

But over the last few years there have been some phrases that have made me uncomfortable – and more and more phrases are joining the pack as time goes on – Mumpreneur, Mumboss, Momboss and even Fempreneur. I don’t know about you but I’ve never seen a Dadpreneur, a Dadboss or a Mas(culine)preneur. Why? Because there is just no need for those words and I don’t think any men would even think to use them, let alone stand behind them, as a collective, giving weight to words that we just don’t need.

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How on Earth Did We Get This Far?

As a blogger I get sent a lot of emails and over the course of the last month I have been offered three different GPS devices. Not a new sports watch or sat-nav for the car but three different devices all aimed at tracking your children.

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Now, don’t get me wrong, I know there will be children with special educational needs or disabilities where GPS tracking could be useful and very much needed but to aim a GPS tracker at every family just makes me think that the world has gone mad.

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The Headache of Adverts on Children’s TV

As a family we spend a lot of time watching Netflix now – our favourite shows – on demand, just one button to press on the TV remote and just so much easier than watching anything else. But, every so often the children want to watch something that isn’t on Netflix or we think putting normal TV on will be a bit of variety for them and so we cave to their demands and stick it on for a while.

Within half an hour of the children watching normal TV they have the same demands. “I want that Mummy…”, “Can we ask Father Christmas for this Daddy…”. It’s constant and relentless and I didn’t understand why the children were so focused on material things until I sat and watched normal TV properly with them. It was as if they had swallowed an Argos catalogue.

But, a few minutes of TV watching later and I could see why the children were so fixated on the latest toys. In between each ten or fifteen minute show there were a few minutes of adverts and the majority of the adverts were about toys – all featuring their favourite characters, their favourite brands and things that were so familiar to them but things that they didn’t own. Things they immediately wanted.

I am well aware that LP and Little Man are incredibly fortunate with the amount of toys they get to review but we also have quite a high turnover of toys – reviewing them and then a few months later giving them to friends or the charity shop – only the most favoured ones are kept indefinitely. I don’t want the children to grow up spoilt and expecting things – they know that the toys we have are part of my job, they know a lot of other children don’t get everything they get and so they understand that we can’t keep everything that we’re sent, that other people might like and appreciate it instead.

The children also get pocket money and save it to then buy things with it and they always have two or three things to ask Father Christmas for – not huge lists but just a couple of things that they’d really love. But, adverts on TV make them want more. It makes that list of things they’d like get longer and longer and it makes them say they want things rather than they would like things. It’s all very me, me, me and want, want, want.

I don’t know whether it’s subliminal messaging or the music on the adverts but whatever it is turns the children into noisy, materialistic little people who have forgotten the value of things, have forgotten how much they already have and don’t appreciate that things need to be worked for or saved up to buy.

For me, adverts on children’s TV are a terrible thing. I work so hard to make the children understand that they can’t have everything that they would like the minute that they decide they want it. We work to make them understand the value of money, the concept of saving up for things and choosing wisely when they part with that money.

But then the adverts come on the TV and shatter everything the children have learnt and make them so blinkered that in that moment all they can see is that toy – and that is all that matters in life. In that moment they would swap their beloved cat for that toy and wouldn’t look back.

Those TV adverts are like drugs to a child and that is just another reason why we’ll be sticking with Netflix and moving away from commercial TV channels. A house without TV adverts is definitely a nicer one where the children are concerned.

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